Japan's craziest car names will explode your brain cells with hilarity

We're a random bunch of meat sacks at the best of times, and we were just thinking that maybe this is why we love Japan so much. The food, the culture, the history, the fact they sold a car called the Touring Bruce... 

Some of Japan's craziest car names will blow the router out of your Internet Space Wizard. Sometimes this comes from translation difficulties, or odd commercial partnerships... like when Subaru hooked up with Hollywood action star Bruce Willis to sell Subaru Legacys.

The ads are something to behold, so make sure you're sitting down before you CLICK THIS LINK or WATCH THIS OTHER AD...

Nissan sold a range of trucks and prime movers called the Big Thumb Harmonized Truck. You know what they say about blokes with a Big Thumb? (yeah, they need big gloves)  

Suzuki's Van Van would surely be some kind of rad Kei-class step-through commercial nugget, right? Wrong, it is a motorcycle. 

Small city and Kei-class cars often appeal to a younger, female demographic, and so they get cuter or more urban-oriented name attached to them (think: Swift, Barina, Figaro, etc). Or, if you're a total loose unit who needs to come up with a name for Daihatsu's latest tiny nugget, you'd call it the "Naked". Because that is surely how you party on the weekend.

Mazda's Bongo van was released at the peak of Hippy Culture in the 1960s, which may go some way to explaining how they named their carry-all commercial van after a hand-beaten drum. The Bongo may be most famous for being cut in half during the famous chase scene at the start of the first Mad Max. 

Mitsubishi's "Mini Active Urban Sandal" (a mid-1990s concept to take on the Smart ForTwo) was a slight head-scratcher, as was their "Toppo Guppy", but their "Mum 500 Shall We Join Us" is next-level. You know you've got a winner when the name doesn't make sense grammatically or in theory. 

If you want to learn more about Japanese cars names, check out THIS VIDEO WE DID or you can also get your fix of maaad Japanese turbo choo choo action with this cool new shirt we've got (CLICK THIS FOR OUR NEW SHIRT)